All The Things (S)he Said
by BlackOblivion
Summary: Ichigo is having a hard time forgetting about Shirosaki, his ex-lover. Nothing is exactly the same about him anymore, now that he is gone. Just how is he going to live with himself?


A song made me write this xD I think this is considered a song fic? I don't know /._./

Song: All The Things She Said – t.A.T.u

Song does NOT BELONG TO ME

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_All The Things She Said_

_All The Things She Said_

_Running Through My Head_

_Running Through My Head_

_Running Through My Head_

Ichigo clutched his head, screaming as loud as he possibly could. It hurt so much, but it wasn't physical pain. It was mental pain. His mind burned with a searing hate…and love.

_All The Things She Said_

_All The Things She Said_

_Running Through My Head_

_Running Through My Head_

_All The Things She Said_

Words were swimming through his head. Words he didn't ever want to remember, words he never wanted to hear again. The orange-haired teen tried taking deep breaths, but he felt as if the walls were closing in around him. A sick unpleasant aroma entered his nose and swarmed in his senses.

_"Ichigo…I love you so much," _

"_I'll never hurt ya. I'll protect ya,"_

"_I promise I'll be here when you wake up," _

The same voice ringed in his ears. It was gentle, loving, and full of meaning, like they would live up their word. Ichigo believed that with all his heart, like those words were the most important thing in the world. They were and they still are.

_This is not enough (enough, enough)_

_I am in serious shit_

_I feel totally lost_

_If I am asking for help_

_It's only because_

_Being with you has opened my eyes_

Shirosaki was the one person that he believed every word to and that means every word. Ichigo had believed him so much, that he became infatuated by the albino. Both of them were lovers, or used to be.

_Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?_

_I keep asking myself, wondering how_

_I keep closing my eyes but I can't get block you out_

Everything was doing fine for the first years. Ichigo loved Shirosaki and Shirosaki…cared for Ichigo. One day, however, the albino had left the orange-haired teen alone, without telling him anything. All he did was leave a note saying:

'_I decided to move somewhere, which I am not going to say, because I don't need you coming over there. If you are wondering why I left, I never loved you, Ichigo. I just needed you so I can get close to someone. I'll be happy if you hated me."_

The words had Ichigo crying, screaming, mourning and shocked. He had truly loved the albino. Showing so much affection love, why did he have to get betrayed? Every single day, every single minute, Ichigo tried to think of something else, tried to hang out with other people, but every time…every _god damn time_ his mind had somehow drifted back to _him. _

Dammit, now he can't even think of his name.

_Want to fly to a place_

_Where it's just you and me_

_Nobody else _

_So we can be free._

_(Nobody else So we can be free)_

Sometimes, he just wished Shirosaki had loved him. After all, before they became lovers, Ichigo always had a little…crush on him. He looked exactly like that treacherous man, but he looked so much…better, I guess you can say.

All he ever wished for, all he ever wanted was for the both of them to live together, to stay together and to love each other.

Why was that so hard?!

Ichigo was literally ripping at his hair about it. Tears streaming down his face, his cheeks burning from the tears, and a broken heart were all the things he was experiencing.

_All The Things She Said _

_All The Things She Said_

_Running Through My Head_

_Running Through My Head_

_Running Through My Head_

Ichigo was sobbing as the same words just kept going on and on.

"_Ichigo, ya know I love ya, so much!" _

"Liar…Liar, Liar, Liar!" The orangette shouted, with hate and anguish. His face in a lamenting expression, he just gripped his head and placed it on his knees.

"Stop staying in my head! I don't need you anymore! Why...Why did you have to leave me?! Why!? I loved you…No, I still love you…Why couldn't you ever show me those feelings back?!" Letting all his anger out, Ichigo just kept on talking to himself. What else was he supposed to do?

_All The Things She Said_

_All The Things She Said_

_Running Through My Head_

_Running Through My Head_

_All The Things She Said_

"If you never said those words…May be I could have lived a better life. I was stupid to be so trustful in that person…Why did I ever fucking trust you!?" Ichigo just couldn't understand. Was Shirosaki just planning to make him suffer in the first place? What had he ever done to him?

_This is not enough! _

_(This is not enough)_

_All The Things She Said_

_All The Things She Said_

Nothing he did, nothing he said, and nothing did his friends say, make him feel like loving any one again. Ever since _he_ left him, nothing was the same. Ichigo developed a bad habit of not trusting everyone fully anymore. It's not like anyone could blame him.

_And I am all mixed up_

_Feeling colder and worse_

_They say it's my fault_

_But I want her so much_

Almost everyone told Ichigo to just let it go and…well…Never think about it. They had no idea what it felt. None of them knew how hard it was to just forget the love of your life. Ichigo just…wanted to be in Shirosaki's hold, like lovers were supposed to be. And of course from there, he was told that if he never let it slide, nothing would change.

"Well they can keep on believing that…" Ichigo mumbled to himself, calmed down a bit. His orange hair was a mess and it was dimmer than it was when he still had _him. _

_Want to fly her away_

_Where the sun and the rain_

_Cover all of my face_

_Wash away all the shame_

How could be ever just…trust him right off the bat? He should have questioned him, asked him, _anything_ but just sit there and let everything go by, hoping that there are no problems.

He was practically blaming himself for that part, but for Shirosaki to just…throw all that trust down the drain? That was unforgivable.

_When they stop and stare_

_Don't worry me_

_Cause I am feeling for her_

_What she is feeling for me_

Never in his life had he been through something like this. Had Fate really been so cruel to let this happen? Hate overwhelmed him right then. Hate for his trust, hate for Shirosaki. That was all that consumed him.

_I can try to pretend _

_I can try to forget_

_But it's driving me mad_

_Going out of my head_

He was going insane with this. On the surface, he just wanted to hate Shirosaki with all of his might, but deep down, all he wanted was love.

_-Skipped Chorus-_

_Mother looking at me_

_Tell me what do you see?_

_Yes I've lost my mind_

_Daddy looking at me_

_Will I ever be free?_

_Have I crossed the line?_

His mother had died, which had his trust failing a bit. But that was before he had met Shirosaki. Ichigo could recall the hypnotizing golden orbs and the black abyss that had surrounded it. He remembered being captivated by them.

That's when his trust rose up a bit, and opened up little by little.

_All The Things She Said_

_All The Things She Said_

_All The Things She Said_

_All The Things She Said_

_All The Things She Said…_

When he was still pondering on the words, a knock come from the door. It was very soft, so it sounded as if, it was hesitated. Ichigo bit his lip, not wanting to see anyone, but he forced his legs to get up and walk over to the door, opening it. His eyes widened at the person standing there, gasping at the sight.

It was Shirosaki…

"Why…" Ichigo started, but a tender kiss on the cheek stopped him.

"I am sorry…I am so sorry…I should have never left you…Please, forgive me. I didn't realize my feelings! I-" Shirosaki tried apologizing.

Ichigo felt one tear fall down his cheeks. Wrapping arms around Shirosaki he just cried and cried.

Miracles can happen..huh?

"I love you…" He whispered and let a smile curve on his lips. It was one that was gentle and genuine.

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Woo~ I hope you guys enjoyed that~

Until next time~ Ciao~


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